Nora and Baby Volker #3

I am pregnant due on Sep.29th. I like that it is the 29th. Nora was born and died on that date. Since we didn't try to get pregnant, we are still a bit confused as to how it all happened despite our knowledge of the birds and the bees, I do feel this is a bit of a serendipitous event. We feel grateful.

People ask me if I am scared or anxious. This baby does have an increased chance of having a congenital heart defect just because having any previous children with one increases your chance for future children having one. Essentially most women have a 1% chance of having a baby with a heart problem, I have a 10% chance. Then I think of Nora and the chances we would have had to have her with all her glory were minuscule ... like winning the lottery. It was like winning the lottery. She was the most amazing baby I have ever met. So am I worried? No. I am so excited. No matter what happens, we having a baby and that is just about the most precious thing that can happen to a person.

The only issue I deal with when I am pregnant is imaging my love for this child being as great as my love for my current children. When I was pregnant with Nora I questioned would there be room or enough love for another child. Hello. It only took like one second for that to go away ... from the second I first held her we were bonded mother and child for life in the most miraculous of ways. Instantaneous. So I know the same will happen with this little sprout. Instant love, what could be better?

Nora's been gone for more than six months. It is crazy how normal she still fits in with our life. Today we drove to Evie's dance and there was an eagle flying overhead. I asked Aaron to stop and he said don't worry it will come back. Sure enough, we drove to the other side of the river and there it was again, flying real low over our car. We all waved. Then I got to dance class and met a friend of a friend who I don't even know. She has a picture of Nora in her home that she sees everyday. She said it inspired her and she welled up with tears. My baby girl is blessing people I don't even know. Seriously how lucky can one mama get.